Sunday, September 14, 2008 @ 3:29 AM

Day(s) to end of nlvl: 25
Day(s) to my birthday: 18

Day(s) without Jiyou: 13

Saturday
woke up at ard 4
pepper asked me to go over jiyou's hse
at first thought there was mahjong
but enough ka alr
in end slacking there
aft mahjong end, waited for pepper
then went over mall to eat
okay another expensive meal
aft that went hg plaza for lan
played dota for awhile
then went over xiwei's hse dwnstairs for a drink
i asked pepper to buy just 2 bottles
but she wanted 3
in the end we can only finish 2 1/4
wasted! took photos, smoke, games
then it's getting a little bored
went back to hg plaza
played dota at lan again
finally i manage to kill a hero
confusing game-.-
walked over to 401 after that
eat, i eat super slow, cos i was deep in my thoughts
aft that pepper went off
i walked home
when i was at upper serangoon road
i saw a guy stopping a cab and puking like hell
and it stopped 2 times
lol, pathetic guy
walked all the way home, tiring journey
reached home ard 3.15am

current life: sucks like hell
let me scrutinize why

no boyf, well i know wanting a miracle to happen
is totally impossible, but wanna let everyone know
i still love him, no one can replace him
not at this moment at least.

family, mum and dad forever not at home
or when i am at home they are out
or when i am out they at home
no money daily allowance anymore
every single cent i am spending now
is my own savings since sec1
dad goes drinking
mum goes casinos
no maid, means have to do housework
well i dont mind, i'm just afraid of cockroaches

school, last day of school alr
i still have doubts about my work
n's coming, stress increasing
i think even if i can make it to sec5
the school wont accept me
due to my attitude and stuffs like that

friends, i seriously have doubts
about every single fuck that is happening now
no point trusting anyone now
you have no bloody idea what's gonna happen next
just concentrate on my studies will do
as long as they do not affect me

personality, everyone hates me
due to my attitude and behaviour
my close ones hate me
my exboyf hates me
my parents hate me
my brother hates me
DM hates me
i seriously doubt my own ability
i really want to change
but can i?
i dont even have the least confidence
that i should have, low self esteem
even if i do change, would they even care
or would he even notice?
take one step at a time..

check out mdm juliana's blog http://juliana2608.blogspot.com/












was playing chess with shirley at plaza on friday
it was a little bored so did this(:

Labels: missing you through and through