Sunday, March 21, 2010 @ 8:40 AM
I am so gonna blog about yesterday,
havent sleep yet, dead beat, BUT, still i wanna blog
Adorable much? :D
So Mackenzie slept at my place on sat morning
cos we played dota all the way until morning,
prepared and headed over to cp for dinner
took train over to town and met don there
Mackenzie went redhill to meet his friends
went Shaw hse Mc Cafe again, slacked
and poured all my thoughts, well felt better
sat there till around 11pm, took train over to Somerset
Don went home, met mackenzie outside 313
walked over to Cine, met Jeremy Silver, and co.
Went up to get tickets, 'Kidnapper'
Played pool, and smoke, our movie started at 1.50am
a not bad movie, but it's abit too draggy.
then walked over to parklane, saw Bryan on the way
played 2 rounds of dota, took train home after that.
Well, my dear Mackenzie, it's our one year today.
I am so disappointed, for what have just happened,
i dont know whether to be angry or sad.
It's like i totally dont know how to react or portray my feelings,
i dont know whether i should just break down and cry,
or just punch you in the face. I really dont know.
Everyone, including you may think i have forgiven you.
Yes, i have. But i just cant get it off my mind.
From the start, cant you just be honest with me?
I am your girlfriend, not Tom, dick or harry.
Think from my side, it's not that i think too much or whatsoever.
It's something so wrong, so so so wrong.
Crying, talking to you, or punching whoever wont help.
What more? How do you wanna solve it?
I tried talking to you, but we havent come to a solution.
Breaking up did come to my mind, honestly.
But i dont want to live with regret, i know i love you.
All the while, i am the one maintaining this r/s.
I'm tired, i dont know how long i can go on,
it's time you take over, make both of our lives easier.
I believe time could make me forget about it,
but how long would it be, i seriously dont know.
You want me to trust you, i did.
This is what i got? I really regret trusting you.
I tried ways and means to make you happy.
This is what i get in return? Betrayal and lies?
All the while, it's always 'you think, you think'
if it's just plainly by you think and you make a judgement,
you are so wrong, look at the facts my dear.
looking at you, i am really heartbroken.
For once, i put so much effort into a r/s,
For once, i lasted so long with a guy,
For once, i enjoyed my life being attached so much,
For once, i felt so fortunate being loved.
&in split seconds, 'that' spoilt everything.
Am i more important or whoever?
If it's whoever, i dont mind letting go cos i know you'll be happier.
Cos i reckon it isnt me, if it's me, why must you hurt me so badly.
Well you have your own explanations.
But still, you should be honest to me in the first place.
Yes, it isnt you that started this thing,
But it takes 2 hands to clap,
if you dont stretch out your hand, nothing will happen.
I dont know whether you will see this,
this time round, you seriously hurt me deep, real deep.
i always try to portray a happy image in front of you,
in order to not make you stressed up,
but look, your attitude towards me isnt right.
Raising your voice when you're in the wrong,
ignoring me when you feel like it,
i dont what to say anymore, i dont how long will this go on
i dont know how long i can last,
i dont know whether that SHIT will continue,
Cos i am not you, you broke my trust in you.
I'm sorry, i cant help but suspect every single thing you do.
The day i dont even care &able to laugh off everything,
it's the day i chose to let go and live a happier life.
I'm tired.
